8 Things that will heal a broken heart

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks? Here we list eight essential things everybody must do in the early days of a break up to let the healing begin.

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn't being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret.
In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.

2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won't hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.

3. Cry if you want to. It's OK to cry over a loss. Don't hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don't want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.

4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.

5. Don't slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let's face it, if things ended the relationship wasn't perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?

6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying.

7. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won't really miss.
Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.

8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don't pass notes through friends. Don't make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don't contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you'll be just fine. Good luck!

This is a nice reminder for those single people who are looking for love and the for those who are single again and want to meet a new love..I hope you will like it

Has Your Bus Arrived Yet?

Love is just like someone waiting for a bus. When the bus comes, you look at it and you say to yourself "ooh...so full....no more available sit". "I'll wait for the next one". So you let the bus go and waited for the second bus. Then the second bus came, you looked at it you say, "eew...this bus is so old...so shabby!" So you let the bus leave and again, decided to wait for the next bus. After a while another bus came, it's not crowded, not old but you said, "eeee...not air-conditioned ...better wait for the next one". So again you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus. Then the sky started to get dark as it is getting late. You panicked and jumped immediately inside the next bus. It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded the wrong bus! So you wasted your time and energy waiting for what you want! Even if an air-conditioned bus comes, you can't ensure that the air-conditioned bus won't break down ! or whether or not the airconditioner will be too cold for you. So people... wanting to get what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn't hurt to give other person a chance, right? If you find that the "bus" doesn't suit you just press the red button and get off the bus!(as simple as that!)

Hey who said life is fair??? The best thing to do is be observant and open while you scrutinize the bus. If it doesn't suit you, get off. But you must always have an extra something which you could use for the next bus that comes. But wait........ I'm sure you have this experience before...You saw a bus coming (the bus you want, of course) you flagged it but the driver acted as if he did not see you and zoomed pass you! It just wasn't meant for you! The bottom line is, being loved is like waiting for a bus you want. Getting on the bus and appreciating the bus by giving it a chance depends totally on you! If you haven't made any choice, WALK! Walking is like being out of love. The good side of it is you can still choose any bus you want... the rest who couldn't afford another ride would just have to be content with the bus they rode on, ugly or not. One more thing.... sometimes its better to choose a bus you are already familiar with rather than gamble with a bus that is unfamiliar to you. But then again, life wouldn't be complete without the risks involved. BUT THERE'S ONE BUS THAT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE BUS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR...IT WILL JUST STOP ON ITS OWN AND WILL ASK YOU TO COME INSIDE AND TAKE A FREE RIDE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...
"You Never Lose By Loving, You Always Lose By Holding Back"

Have you ever wondered why the bride stands to the left of the groom, or why the wedding ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand? The origins and meaning behind some of our most cherished wedding traditions may surprise you. There are, of course, multiple explanations for each piece of wedding lore, and few can be definitively traced back to their roots. Below are some of the more common and popular stories behind these traditions.



Tossing the Bouquet



Tossing the bouquet is a tradition that stems from England. Women used to try to rip pieces of the bride's dress and flowers in order to obtain some of her good luck. To escape from the crowd the bride would toss her bouquet and run away. Today the bouquet is tossed to single women with the belief that whoever catches it will be the next to marry.


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"Something borrowed" usually comes from a happily married woman and is thought to lend some of her good fortune and joy to the new bride.
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Giving Away the Bride



The tradition of the father giving away his daughter has its roots in the days of arranged marriages. Daughters in those times were considered their father's property. It was the father's right to give his child to the groom, usually for a price. Today a father giving away his daughter is a symbol of his blessing of the marriage.



The Wedding Ring



The wedding ring has been worn on the third finger of the left hand since Roman times. The Romans believed that the vein in that finger runs directly to the heart. The wedding ring is a never-ending circle, which symbolizes everlasting love.



The Best Man



In ancient times, men sometimes captured women to make them their brides. A man would take along his strongest and most trusted friend to help him fight resistance from the woman's family. This friend, therefore, was considered the best man among his friends. In Anglo-Saxon England, the best man accompanied the groom up the aisle to help defend the bride.



Bride on Groom's Left



Because grooms in Anglo-Saxon England often had to defend their brides, the bride would stand to the left of her groom so that his sword arm was free.



Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Sixpence in Your Shoe



"Something old" represents the bride's link to her family and the past. The bride may choose to wear a piece of family jewelry or her mother or grandmother's wedding gown.

"Something new" represents hope for good fortune and success in the future. The bride often chooses the wedding gown to represent the new item.

"Something borrowed" usually comes from a happily married woman and is thought to lend some of her good fortune and joy to the new bride.

"Something blue" is a symbol of love, fidelity, and purity of the bride.
A sixpence in her shoe is to wish the bride wealth in her future life.




The Tiered Wedding Cake





The origin of the tiered wedding cake also lies in Anglo-Saxon times. Guests would bring small cakes to the wedding and stack them on top of each other. Later, a clever French baker created a cake in the shape of the small cakes and covered it in frosting. It is now known as the tiered cake.



Wedding Bouquet





Flowers are incorporated into the wedding ceremony as a symbol of fertility. The first bouquets consisted of herbs and, later, orange blossoms.





The Bridal Veil





The bridal veil has long been a symbol of youth, modesty, and virginity and was used to ward off evil.




Bridesmaids




The bridal party is a tradition that has been established for many centuries. For a long time the purpose of the bridal party was to fool evil spirits. The bride's friends dressed similarly to her in order to confuse any virulent presences that might be lurking about. Today bridesmaids are there to support the bride in the stressful times during the wedding.

1. Upon returning home, find her first before doing anything else and give her a hug.

2. Ask her specific questions about her day that indicate an awareness of what she was planning to do.
(e.g., "How did your day go? Did you have fun at the mall?")

3. Practice listening and asking questions.

4. Resist the temptations to solve her problems.

5. Give her twenty minutes of unsolicited, quality attention (don't read the newspaper or be distracted by anything else during this time).

6. Bring her cut flowers as a surprise as well as on special occasions.

7. Plan a date several days in advance, rather than waiting for Friday night and asking her what she wants to do.

8. If she generally makes dinner or if it is her turn and she seems tired or really busy, offer to make dinner.

9. Compliment her on how she looks.

10. Validate her feelings when she is upset.

11. Offer to help her when she is tired.

12. Schedule extra time when traveling so that she doesn't have to rush.

13. When you are going to be late, call her and let her know.

14. When she asks for support, say yes or no without making her wrong for asking.

15. Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her "I'm sorry you feel hurt." Then be silent; let her feel your understanding of her hurt. Don't offer solutions or explanations why her hurt is not your fault.

16. Whenever you need to pull away, let her know you will be back or that you need some time to think about things.

17. When you've cooled off and you come back, talk about what was bothering you in a respectful, nonblaming way, so she doesn't imagine the worst.

18. Offer to build a fire in wintertime.

19. When she talks to you, put down the magazine or turn off the TV and give her your full attention.

20. If she usually washes the dishes, occasionally offer to wash the dishes, especially if she is tired that day.

21. Notice when she is upset or tired and ask what she has to do. Then offer to help by doing a few of her "to do" items.

22. When going out, ask if there is anything she wants you to pick up at the store, and remember to pick it up.

23. Let her know when you are planning to take a nap or leave.

24. Give her four hugs a day.

25. Call her from work to ask how she is or to share something exciting or to tell her "I love you."

26. Tell her "I love you" at least a couple of times every day.

27. Make the bed and clean up the bedroom.

28. If she washes your socks, turn your socks right side out so she doesn't have to.

29. Notice when the trash is full, and offer to empty it.

30. When you are out of town, call to leave a telephone number when you can be reached an to let her know you arrived safely.

31. Wash her car.

32. Wash your car and clean up the interior before a date with her.

33. Wash before having sex or put on a cologne if she likes that.

34. Take her side when she is upset with someone.

35. Offer to give her a back or neck or foot massage (or all three).

36. Make a point of cuddling or being affectionate sometimes without being sexual.

37. Be patient when she is sharing. Don't look at you watch.

38. Don't flick th remote control to different channels when she is watching TV with you.

39. Display affection in public.

40. When holding hands don't let your hand go limp.

41. Learn her favorite drinks so you can offer her a choice of the ones that you know she already likes.

42. Suggest different restaurants for going out; don't put the burden of figuring out where to go on her.

43. Get season tickets for th theater, symphony, opera, ballet, or some other type of some other type of performance she likes.

44. Create occasions when you both can dress up.

45. Be understanding when she is late or decides to change her outfit.

46. Pay more attention to her than to others in public.

47. Make her more important than the children. Let the children see her first and foremost.

48. Buy her little presents- like a small box of chocolates or perfume.

49. Buy her an outfit (take a picture of your partner along with her sizes to the store and let them help you select it).

50. Take pictures of her on special occasions.

51. Take short romantic getaways.

52. Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it for time to time.

53. When staying in a hotel, have them prepare the room with something special, like a bottle of champagne or sparkling apple juice or flowers.

54. Write a note or make a sign on special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays.

55. Offer to drive the car on long trips.

56. Drive slowly and safety, respecting her preferences. After all, she is sitting powerless in the front seat.

57. Notice how she is feeling and comment on it- "You look happy today" or "You look tired"- and then ask a question like "How was your day?"

58. When taking her out, study in advance the directions so that she does not have to feel responsible to navigate.

59. Take her dancing or take dancing lessons together.

60. Surprise her with a love note or poem.

61. Treat her in ways you did at the begging of the relationship.

62. Offer to fix something around the house. Say "What needs to fixed around here? I have some extra time." Don't take on more than you can do.

63. Offer to sharpen her knives in the kitchen.

64. Buy some good Super Glue to fix things that are broken.

65. Offer to change light bulbs as soon as they go out.

66. Help with recycling the trash.

67. Read out loud or cut out sections of the newspaper that would interest her.

68. Write out neatly any phone messages you make take for her.

69. Keep the bathroom floor clean and dry it after taking a shower.

70. Open the door for her.

71. Offer to carry the groceries.

72. Offer to carry heavy boxes for her.

73. On trips, handle the luggage and be responsible for packing it in the car.

74. If she washes the dishes or it is her turn, offer to help scrub pots or other difficult tasks.

75. Make a "to fix" list and leave it in the kitchen. When you have extra time do something on that list for her. Don't let it get out too long.

76. When she prepare a meal, compliment her cooking.

77. When listening to her talk, use eye contact.

78. Touch her with your hand sometimes when you talk to her.

79. Show interest in what she does during the day, in the books she reads and the people she relates to.

80. When listening to her, reassure her that you are interested by making little noises like as ha, uh-huh, oh, mmhuh, hmmmm.

81. Ask her how she is feeling.

82. If she has been sick in some way, ask for an update and ask how she is doing or feeling.

83. If she is tired offer to make her some tea.

84. Get ready to go to sleep together and get in bed at the same time.

85. Give her a kiss and say good-bye when you leave.

86. Laugh at her jokes and humor.

87. Verbally say thank you when she does things for you.

88. Notice when she gets her hair done and give her a reassuring compliment.

89. Create special time to be alone together.

90. Don't answer the phone at intimate moments or if she is sharing vulnerable feelings.

91. Go bicycling to gether, even if it's just a short ride.

92. Organize and prepare a picnic. (Remember to bring to picnic cloth.)

93. If she handles the laundry, bring the clothes to the cleaners or offer to do the wash.

94. Take her for a walk without the children.

95. Negotiate in a manner that shows her that you want her to get what she wants and you also want what you want. Be caring, but don't be a martyr.

96. Let her know that you missed her when you went away.

97. Bring home her favorite pie or dessert.

98. If she normally shop for the food, offer to do the food shopping.

99. Eat lightly on romantic occasions so that you don't become stuffed and tired later.

100. Ask her to add her thoughts to this list.

101. Leave the bathroom seat down.

So many girls are in a holding pattern, waiting for the guy they love to want to be with them once again, or waiting for a new guy to commit to them. Here are the common mistakes,we, girls make.

1) Betting your love life on his relationship "potential," and believing he will change his mind when he understands how much you love him.

I know it might be hard to believe, but a guy has a clear idea of what he wants from a girl. He had an idea of what he wanted from you the minute he saw you and that was not what he was getting when you were together.

2) Letting him string you along while he dates other girls, because you feel that he is your soulmate.
You are ignoring all the important signs he is giving you. When a guy can have the affection of two guy, and not commit to either one, odds are he will try to keep the situation going for as long as possible! Holding on to you gives him comfort in case his new relationship doesn't work out. He is not in the right place in his life to give you what you want from him so you must move on.

3) Believing if you try harder to please him, he will understand and change his feelings for you.

You feel your life is just not complete without him and you must do whatever it takes to make him understand that you are what he needs. A mistake I've seen girls make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled. There are situations and relationships where this happens. But those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Nothing says "Run!" to a guy faster than hearing or sensing that a girl immediately wants him to take care of her. The guys who are looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there. They are the controllers of the world, and you do not want to put your happiness in their hands.

If a girl communicates that she's looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, or make her whole, it has a VERY negative effect on what the guy will think of her.

4) Feeling that if you look more attractive and sexy he will stay with you.

If a guy doesn't know what he wants when he has it, he generally doesn't want what he's got. This may sound harsh, but it's the truth of the situation. And even when it doesn't ring completely true for you, it's a good rule to go by.

A good man who is the right person and wants to be with you will find his own way to his "emotional truth," and you will not have to resort to dressing like a tart to please him. If his truth is that he wants to be with you, or not be with you, you have to respect what he is telling you. His actions speak louder than words. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all, timely. You don't have to act like an easy girl for guys to like you, and you certainly don't have to play like he's some gift to the Earth.

Doing these things actually works subtly, at a subconscious level, to lower your social status with a guy, which has everything to do with how he sees you as a girl.

5) Pretending to be something you are not to keep him.
Guys who truly want a relationship are never attracted to the type of girls who kiss up to them, make weak plays for his affection or complain to get what they want.

6) Thinking you need to share how you feel right away.

One thing that turns an attractive guys off and sends him running away faster than just about anything is a girl who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the man that you're just like one of those clingy, stereotypical women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control yourself from wanting a guy to fulfill you and complete your life. This does not spell attraction for a guy.

Keep the mystery of how you feel until you are secure in the relationship. You'll never succeed by looking for a guy's approval, finding your way into his heart through sex or not being yourself.

7) Misreading important signals he's sending.

Girls communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm and flirting when they're first getting to know a man. They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they're open to something more serious. Guys are different. Guys generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockiness and other indirect displays of status. Very rarely will a man be able to honestly communicate to a girl whether or not he's ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.

Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they're at. It takes time to discover where he is coming from, and it is not something you learn after a couple of dates.

You cannot convince a guy to feel differently about you with logic and reasoning. Think about it. If a guy doesn't have feelings for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being reasonable with him?

When a guy just isn't interested, some girls will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches that rarely succeed. The bottom line is you cannot convince a man he wants to be with you by manipulation. Either he chooses to be with you or he doesn't.

If he has moved on to a new prospect you can pretty well surmise that he is not interested in you and having a monogamous relationship. You are better served then to plan what steps you are going to take to move on in your life. Sitting and grieving will not bring him back. Plotting and planning and manipulation usually backfire and cause you more pain. The best recourse is to face the fact that the relationship is not working and you need to take care of your own needs and not depend on him to do it for you.

Letting go is hard and never easy but it is necessary if you want to love again.